oh, tamper if you like between the doors

Blue Christmas Eve

2008-12-25T03:58:27Z

Tonight, as I was leaving Mama and Daddy's, my bother said to me, "Merry Christmas." I just looked out toward my house, saw the Christmas tree twinkling in the window, and thought, "Yeah, right, Merry Christmas." I love Christmas, but there is just something so sad about going home on Christmas Eve knowing that so many (including your baby brother) will be scrambling to prepare for Santa's visit while you have a typical night at home--alone. Most of the time I wouldn't trade places with my "married with children" friends for anything, but on Christmas Eve and early Christmas Morning, I envy them.

and_a_scream @ 2008-08-24T00:25:00

2008-08-24T05:29:07Z

Tonight at work, I found it difficult to hold back the tears. Meredith was sitting in a chair looking so cute in a polka-dotted shirt, and Drew was trying to feel the baby move. It was really a sweet scene, Drew with his hand over Meredith’s round belly. Until tonight, I had handled Kendra’s and Meredith’s pregnancies fine—never even a pang of sadness or jealousy. But tonight all I could think about was the fact that I will never experience that. I will never be able to feel a little life inside me. I really have come to terms with the fact that I will likely never be able to have a child of my own, but sometimes there is the sadness, and I want to cry and cry and scream, “It’s not fair!”

and_a_scream @ 2008-05-16T09:02:00

2008-05-16T14:04:42Z

NKOTB. OMG. LOL.

and_a_scream @ 2008-01-23T03:22:00

2008-01-23T09:25:22Z

Sad day.

and_a_scream @ 2006-12-14T07:31:00

2006-12-14T13:31:47Z

Layne Staley. Sometimes I think I would give my soul to have him stand in front of me and sing.

there was never a path to find

2006-11-17T11:03:44Z

ingrained in the human imagination is the idea of life as path, a road progressing toward....

it is more akin to a rose.

unfolding petal by petal,
one petal touching, lying against another
circling back to the past and moving forward as each new petal unfurls
one large, open
one curving slightly
one with a ruffled edge
one just a shade darker red
than the last

in the end a thing of beauty.

a life.

and_a_scream @ 2006-11-11T23:10:00

2006-11-12T05:10:15Z

I will not have expectations again. I will not imagine one more day that does not happen because you care about something else more than you care about me. Jesus Christ, was one fucking day too much to ask?

and_a_scream @ 2006-10-16T03:41:00

2006-10-16T08:43:37Z

Why is it so hard to think of someone other than yourself? Why can't you remember that you are not the only one with issues? And the person who just did something inconsiderate, rude--the person who just pissed you off, the person whom you feel justified in attacking--may be going through worse, much worse, than you. Why is it so hard just to offer one moment of kindness, or forgiveness, or just to let it pass without feeling the rage in your heart? Why is it so hard?

and_a_scream @ 2006-07-27T04:37:00

2006-07-27T09:21:57Z

Ok. I know my life is in a transition period right now, and I am feeling things that I haven't always felt, but I didn't know that I was teetering on the edge. I tied for werewolf, angel, and faerie. Who has to answer a tie-breaker question to determine if they are a werewolf or an angel?

You scored as WereWolf. WereWolf: Craving rare Meat, feeling caged, aggitated by being around people. Unable to control one's anger or temper. The person will give off symptoms of the shift. They will seem more hostile, blood thirsty, aggitated. They may even growl, bare their teeth or other animal like tendencies. In rare cases, some will physically change. Facial hair will grow thicker or darker, nails will become longer, canine's will seem longer. Embrace your wild side, for you are The Misunderstood WereWolf.

</td>

WereWolf

67%

Angel

67%

Faerie

67%

Dragon

59%

Mermaid

58%

Demon

What Mythological Creature are you? (Cool Pics!)
created with QuizFarm.com

Go Hercules!

2006-05-25T10:24:26Z

I have always opposed eminent domain. The whole concept of taking private property from one owner and giving it to another for the benefit of the town seems to abolish the constitutional right to property. But since the supreme court ruled that it is legal for local governments to take private property, I have to applaud the town of Hercules, California for its property grab. Hercules, a well planned town with nice houses and a bay view, doesn't want a big cheap Wal-Mart store moving into the town. Wal-Mart bought the land and planned to build anyway, but the Hercules city council voted unanimously to seize Wal-Mart's land, saying it would be a blight upon their city. Go Hercules!

and_a_scream @ 2006-05-03T04:53:00

2006-05-03T10:05:41Z

I have to listen to a new Pearl Jam cd a few times before I bond with it. Right now the new cd is just fleeting impressions of sounds and meanings, but WOW. "Marker in the Sand"...I just...wow. And the "Wasted Reprise" after "Gone" is so perfect, so perfect.

and_a_scream @ 2006-04-19T04:09:00

2006-04-19T09:09:37Z

Thursday is the anniversary of the death, or the discovery of the death, of Layne Staley. I don’t know why his death digs into my soul, but it does. Before he died I knew neither his voice nor his face. Of course I knew the name—I am a PJ fan—and had heard AIC songs, but they made no great impression upon me. But that Saturday morning when I read that his body had been discovered, I felt empty, as if part of me had been stolen. And I still feel that way four years later. When I think about dying, I think about him, and I want to hear his voice. It is comforting, but profoundly sad. Yet uplifting. And it digs into my soul. So I mourn for someone I did not know.

and_a_scream @ 2006-04-14T06:15:00

2006-04-14T11:15:16Z

My voice has been buried deep for so long, I don't know if I can still hear the whisper in my head. But I will try.